If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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