dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
