Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
