The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
