Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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