Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
