You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
