Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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