making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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