dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
