you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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