fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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