I want to make a zoo with you.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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