So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
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He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
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I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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