Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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