Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
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in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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