end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize