Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize