If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
