My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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