would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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