3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
