1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
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Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
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We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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