how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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