don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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