Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
