Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
