And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Pants are for mortals
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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