Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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