If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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