i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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