do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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