Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We have started to decorate penises.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
