Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize