Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
