dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
