genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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