i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
