Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
