I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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