Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
