He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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