I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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