you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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