So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
