if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
