remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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