So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
