I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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