i barfeds in our rink
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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