It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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