remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize