I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
There's always time for handjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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