just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
