Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
