Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
